Today’s post is dedicated to the tastemakers; the ladies with ambitions much higher than the stilettos they glide in. I came across the book, “Gentlewoman: Etiquettes for A Lady, From A Gentleman” through some of the excerpts the author put up on Instagram. I bought two copies back in April, gifted a copy to a friend and kept one for myself. I finally read it a few weeks ago. There are so many gems in this book; it’d be selfish not to share with my friends and sisters. I’ll be honest, I’m no relationship expert; let he who hath never smuggled food into the movie theatre cast the first stone. However, I have seen enough wrong to know what right must feel like. Society has encouraged you to think like a man when many of you really should be embracing your feminism. Too many times, I come across young, ambitious ladies who compromise their standards for fellas who won’t raise theirs. This is wrong. If a guy is going nowhere with no ambition of his, he has no right to claim your standards are too high. Move right along and thank God you dodged a bullet.
Oh! By the way, your parents may always have your best interest at heart but ultimately God knows what is best for you. Don’t let anyone pressure you into a relationship that may not be the best for you just because your neighbor’s daughter is engaged or you are “now of age”. Your many advisors will leave and you may be left with regrets that you have to deal with for the rest of your life. If you are single, it is probably for a reason. Invest more time in you. Know yourself. Love yourself.Chase your goals, kick into doors and break down barriers. Make career advancement: know your worth and command fair compensation for the value you bring. Don’t settle. While doing all that, don’t feel sorry for the bum who feels threatened by your ambition. It will all work out for your good.
I’m taking a page out of Mr Bereola’s book (no pun intended) where he outlines his ten commandments. If you can, I’d encourage you to grab a copy of the book too. This food for thought cost the same as four big macs 🙂
1. Thou shalt not judge others by that which thou do not possess thyself. If your only means of transportation are your Nikes, be ye not concerned with the model or make of a man ’s vehicle. Be not shallow if you don’t have a pool. .
2. If you decide to be with a bad boy, you have no right to complain when he does bad boy things to you. Therefore I say unto thee, if a man is not macho enough for you, date a terrorist and let us know how that works out.
3. Thou shalt cultivate diverse valuable friendships. For, if you are the smartest person in the room, you are indeed in the wrong room
4. Thou shalt manage expectations. If you wouldn’t put a one dollar bill into a broken vending machine, why would you give your all to a man who never gives you anything in return? Art thou not worth more than one dollar and some Doritos? Possessing intellect serves no purpose if it is abandoned in moments that matter most. Why would thou throw away logic in relationships when thou value it in every other area of life? Common sense is thy heart’s condom. Don’t go unprotected.
5. Thou shall not offer the least and expect the most. I declare it is illegal to demand a man be six feet, make six ﬁgures and have a six-pack, whilst you have bad feet, no ﬁgure and drink six packs. For I say unto you, until you meet your own checklist, please put the pen and paper down post-haste.
6. Thou shalt not pretend to be a single man’s wife. Thy boyfriend is not thy husband. Giving marriage privileges to a boyfriend is like giving an intern the CEO’s salary. Thou art paying full price for partial service.
7. Thou shalt not chase. When you chase a man, he is running from you. Eat that truth and swallow the reality. If thirsty, help thyself to a glass of dignity. Bon appétit.
8. Thou shalt not say all men are the same – thou shalt say thou dost date the same type of men. To suggest all men are the same is to suggest God lacks creativity.
9. Thou shalt pay attention. Intellect is free, but ignorance will cost you.
10. Thou shalt not search elsewhere for what already exists within. The first greatest love thou will find is God. The second greatest love thou will find is in the mirror. Enjoy the view.
“GENTLEWOMAN” debuted #1 Hot New Release in all of its categories and a Bestseller on Amazon. Follow the author, Enitan O. Bereola II on Instagram and Twitter (@bereolaesque) for your daily medicine.